an unfortunate update

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever so I thought I would post a bit of an update. About a month ago I was hospitalized again. I initially went to the emergency room thinking I had bronchitis or pneumonias because I was experiencing congestion and was having trouble breathing. At that point in time I had been dealing with the return of my acid reflux as well. I was getting sick almost nightly and on medication to help keep food down, if possible. It all started to become clear when the tech that was taking x-rays of my chest suddenly yelled, “What the heck is that?” Not exactly what you want to hear after an x-ray. As it turns out my stomach had moved up into my chest cavity and was pressing on my heart, lungs, and against my spine. It became clear that I needed to have surgery for a second time in little over a year. Because this was my second surgery, there was a lot of scar tissue and it could not be done endoscopically. I was also incredibly malnourished which made surgery even more risky. Thankfully, I was transferred to a hospital in Dallas with a surgeon that put my concerns at ease. I was on something called TPN for about a week before surgery. I could not hold down food so I had to have an 18ga IV of nutrients that went directly from my upper arm into my chest. It provided all the nutrition I would need and even had a handy port for drawing blood so that I would not need to be stuck often.

The surgery itself was extensive. Again, because this was my second go, I would need a larger incision that would go from the bottom of my chest to my belly button. The surgeon opened me up, brought my stomach down, wrapped my esophagus, and inserted a pig skin mesh to keep my stomach in place. To be honest, it felt completely like a horror film.

Recover has also been difficult. Ultimately, I spent three weeks in the hospital. As a result, I had to withdraw from my classes and am currently in the process of paying back financial aid. Emotionally, this has been a real struggle because I had formed an identity around being a student and I was so close to the finish line. This was going to be my last semester before my AA and considering I had obtained my GED and spent the last 2 years being an A student, it has been difficult to swallow.

  Physical recovery has been difficult as well. I left the hospital with twelve metal staples down the middle of my abdomen. You really never think about how much you use your muscles until you lose the ability to. I had to learn how to do simply things like using my legs and arms to push up from a chair. As a person with limited mobility already this has been a nightmare. I cannot use the walker I am familiar with because I cannot walk with my arms in front of me. I have to use a “granny style” walker instead. I also have to use an oversized wheelchair that dwarfs my small frame. My muscles are still really weak and wheelchair I currently use is so big that I have to rely on someone to push me. My insurance will not cover the style of wheelchair I want and at over $2,000 it is too much for me to afford on my own. I am still waiting to see how much of my hospital stay my insurance will cover. The hospital estimate that was sent to my home is about $94,000.

 I am overwhelmed financially, emotionally, and physically.

Thankfully, I have amazing people in my life and a friend of mine started a gofundme to help lessen the financial burden I am facing. We have raised over 900 dollars so far! The money I owed the school was $925 but gofundme also takes a cut of whatever you raise. If you would like to donate please click the link below. If you are reading this and have already donated, I am beyond grateful. Thank you.