an unfortunate update

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever so I thought I would post a bit of an update. About a month ago I was hospitalized again. I initially went to the emergency room thinking I had bronchitis or pneumonias because I was experiencing congestion and was having trouble breathing. At that point in time I had been dealing with the return of my acid reflux as well. I was getting sick almost nightly and on medication to help keep food down, if possible. It all started to become clear when the tech that was taking x-rays of my chest suddenly yelled, “What the heck is that?” Not exactly what you want to hear after an x-ray. As it turns out my stomach had moved up into my chest cavity and was pressing on my heart, lungs, and against my spine. It became clear that I needed to have surgery for a second time in little over a year. Because this was my second surgery, there was a lot of scar tissue and it could not be done endoscopically. I was also incredibly malnourished which made surgery even more risky. Thankfully, I was transferred to a hospital in Dallas with a surgeon that put my concerns at ease. I was on something called TPN for about a week before surgery. I could not hold down food so I had to have an 18ga IV of nutrients that went directly from my upper arm into my chest. It provided all the nutrition I would need and even had a handy port for drawing blood so that I would not need to be stuck often.

The surgery itself was extensive. Again, because this was my second go, I would need a larger incision that would go from the bottom of my chest to my belly button. The surgeon opened me up, brought my stomach down, wrapped my esophagus, and inserted a pig skin mesh to keep my stomach in place. To be honest, it felt completely like a horror film.

Recover has also been difficult. Ultimately, I spent three weeks in the hospital. As a result, I had to withdraw from my classes and am currently in the process of paying back financial aid. Emotionally, this has been a real struggle because I had formed an identity around being a student and I was so close to the finish line. This was going to be my last semester before my AA and considering I had obtained my GED and spent the last 2 years being an A student, it has been difficult to swallow.

  Physical recovery has been difficult as well. I left the hospital with twelve metal staples down the middle of my abdomen. You really never think about how much you use your muscles until you lose the ability to. I had to learn how to do simply things like using my legs and arms to push up from a chair. As a person with limited mobility already this has been a nightmare. I cannot use the walker I am familiar with because I cannot walk with my arms in front of me. I have to use a “granny style” walker instead. I also have to use an oversized wheelchair that dwarfs my small frame. My muscles are still really weak and wheelchair I currently use is so big that I have to rely on someone to push me. My insurance will not cover the style of wheelchair I want and at over $2,000 it is too much for me to afford on my own. I am still waiting to see how much of my hospital stay my insurance will cover. The hospital estimate that was sent to my home is about $94,000.

 I am overwhelmed financially, emotionally, and physically.

Thankfully, I have amazing people in my life and a friend of mine started a gofundme to help lessen the financial burden I am facing. We have raised over 900 dollars so far! The money I owed the school was $925 but gofundme also takes a cut of whatever you raise. If you would like to donate please click the link below. If you are reading this and have already donated, I am beyond grateful. Thank you.

fighting evil by moonlight at Animation celebration! (animation celebration part one)

I was very fortunate to attend Animation Celebration in Lewisville, Texas this weekend. Normally I just arrive and   search the isles looking for comics, toys. Not to mention, spending endless amounts of time waiting in autograph lines and panels and fawning over the hard work of the talented cosplayers I see. This weekend offered up an entirely new experience because I was fortunate to be on the other side of the convention as a volunteer.

the experience gave me an entirely new prospective on the super-secret workings behind the scenes. I was in charge of the green room one minute and filling my walker with snacks and beverages the next.  Today I felt like I ran a 5k over the weekend., every time someone needed something I happily got it for them, I mean how often do you get to assist amazing voice actors and comic book artists? As a con goer, I never really thought about the volunteers before but after this weekend I understand how a volunteer can make all the difference and make a very chaotic event run smoothly.  The troubleshooting staff was amazing and I feel as though I made some great new friends. So if you’ve ever volunteered at a con, thank you!

The highlight of my weekend was meeting Linda Valentine and Toby Proctor from Sailor moon.  When I met them,  felt like a twelve year old girl again and shared with them how the show had such a great impact on my life. I shared that when I was in middle school , Sailor moon was my gateway to make friends with the girls that worked with me on the school paper. Anyone who knows me in real life knows how introverted and shy I was in those days. I would always race home to watch it in the afternoons and then talk about it while typing up articles to be published. Although my time on the school newspaper didn’t last long, I credit show with helping me make the friendships that came out of it.

Linda Ballantyne was one of the most down to earth celebrities I’ve ever met. After  I  paid for my personal autographs (she was only charging 10 dollars can you believe it?) I told her that I was going to get her to sign something for the suicide prevention walk that my campus is hosting (see last post for more information) when I went to pay her for the things for the walk she refused to take my money and gave me the prints.  I cannot express how amazed I was by her generosity and hope to ruse them to raise money and awareness for our cause. It really touched me that she took the time to sign stuff for our school.  It always amazing when your favorite superheroes transition to real life role models. 

In part two of this post, I will be doing a write up on my favorite cosplayers at the con and talking about my "convention haul" so check back for that!

First Post-Hello!

Hello!

If you are reading this, I am honored to say that you have stumbled across my fist blog post.  I think I should begin with a little introduction before I expose you to my general nerdiness.  My name is Ann and I am a 27 year old college student from the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I am currently trying to earn my Associates Degree in teaching before I segue into library technology and become a children's librarian. Yay books! (insert an Agnes from Despicable Me-esque song about books here)

In the two and a half years that I have lived in the state of Texas, I have searched my local Toys-R-Us, toy stores, dug through bins at flea markets,  and  have scoured the dealer room at many local conventions for toys and comics.  It is safe to say that I love anything of the action figure variety. My main collections range from My Little Pony, She-Ra and He-Man to any super hero related figures . I have absolutely swooned over a Masters of the Universe Fright Zone play-set before purchasing it. I know the utmost joy that finding a toy from your childhood (that you either had or dreamed about) can bring to someone.

I have also been known to cosplay at local conventions as well.  If you are unfamiliar with this term, cosplaying is when a person decides to dress up as their favorite character- be it from a comic, television show, whatever.

Now....

Here is the part of my blog where I explain the other half of my user-name. In addition to being a female of the super nerdy persuasion, I also have a disability.  I was born with a mild form of Spastic Cerebral Palsy  (hence the gimp part of my user-name) and because of my disability I have to use a mobility aid.


 Does this stop my desire to dress up? NO.
                           



 (Me as Rainbow Dash at Dallas Comic and Pop Expo)

Am I doomed to cosplay Barbara Gordon as Oracle for the rest of my cosplaying days? NO.

 ( side note: If you haven't already, go read the Killing Joke by the great Alan Moore. seriously. DO IT! It is one of my FAVORITE story lines in comics, EVER. I cried for DAYS... because I cry at everything)

Will I eventually cosplay as Barbara Gordon as Oracle? Yes, because I love her. This is not because she has a disability but because she is a strong female and AWESOME.

Was I ever apprehensive because I am cosplaying with my walker? Yes, and honestly I still am (usually for the first 15 minutes upon entering the con.)


here is where I let you in on a secret... ready?

The cosplaying/convention community here is so full of love for others dressing up and showing love for their fandoms.  sure there might be jerks that think, oh that girl is too chubby to be______  or girls can't possibly *really* like Star Wars. Thankfully, that sort of thinking is becoming more and more rare. With the explosion of comic book movies onto the big screen and shows like the big bang theory being shown I think this is the best time to be a nerd.

So, Join me on my quest to share my nerdiness and improve my costuming!  Please? I am burdened with glorious purpose.

-Ann A.K.A. The Nerdy Gimp